Bad News

The PET scan went fine. Only took 90 minutes total, and I didn't cough during the actual scan. They also said we'd have the results by the afternoon.
And sure enough, Dr. Sunkin's physician assistant called mid-afternoon. Her opener was, "This is not the news you want to hear." She was right in spades. She read me the pertinent info: the lung mass is the same size by measurement, although the report says it is larger (she's not sure why the discrepancy); there are "new little lung nodules"; and the adrenal mass has grown from 8.2 cm to 9.1 cm in two months.
Tony and Mara were home when the news came in. Really, all I could do for a few minutes after I hung up was cry. I am not one who cries easily, except at tear-jerker movies, but there was no avoiding this. And this morning, our Golden Retriever, who loves to come up on the bed after Tony gets up, was on the bed when I woke up. He knows I don't like to pet him first thing, but he saw/felt my sadness this morning and slowly, very slowly, inched his way toward me till his paw was under my hand. There was nothing to do but pet him. I even let him lick my hand, also something I don't routinely do. Dogs really are wonderfully sensitive animals.
So clearly, the chemo is not working. I have an appointment with Sunkin Wednesday, so we will get what he thinks the next step(s) should be. Then, we can compare that with what the Sloan Kettering thoracic oncologist suggests.
We were all set with Sloan -- early 12/24 -- but at the end of the day yesterday, they called
to say the doctor cancelled all appointments that day & the first available appointment is 1/7. (Nothing went well yesterday.) But Sloan already had the new PET scan & saw the urgency so they hope to slide us in a cancellation appointment. I arranged this morning to have the biopsy slides & all the scans Fed Ex'd down to Sloan by Monday, so they have them ahead of when we come in. I believe Dr. Sunkin's office has also already sent the chart down. They have really bent over backwards to be helpful.
But I must say, I don't hold out much hope for Sloan to have a good treatment option. It's not like there are a lot of drug choices. We'll see.
Meanwhile, I am very happy to have some extra time off between chemos, to recover more fully. And perhaps there will be no more chemo.
Tony and I are beginning to figure out what we'd like to do, while I still feel up to it. One of our first thoughts is a long weekend in Montreal. We were there years ago, loved it, but somehow never made it back. We could even take the train, so bad weather wouldn't affect us (unless it is really bad. Then Amtrak doesn't run either.) And I am still hoping to get to warmth, sun & sand this winter.
Meantime, I went to my personal trainer today. First time since before the last chemo, and it felt great and I was able to hang in there for most of the hour. Lord knows I need it. I feel like I've already lost all muscle mass.